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Saturday, March 13th, 2004

(YOU THINK YOU CAN SEE THROUGH MY MATERIALISM?

Posted by:unclouded_days.
Time:10:35 pm.
I don't write poetry, I'm not that artistic. I just want to vent, and possible solutions.

I have a feeling of being invisible. Like no one, not even so called friends, would notice me. I used to have a group of friends that did the same thing to me.. And I got the guts to bring it up, and they got mad. I don't know why. But from then on, I became a burden. They sometimes even refused to acknowledge I was there. I then got into highschool. New people, new friends. But, the same old feeling. I mean, anyone would feel alone if there friends just go planning things that exclude you, and if you ask to join, they make up some lie so you can't. Then you know they lie the next day, when they talk about it. They promise to call, and they don't. But now I'm afraid of confronting them about it. I don't want to be alone. I need some social interaction. Even if it's fake. Even if they don't really care if I died. I don't want to be invisible anymore, I don't want to feel like a shell of a person with no reason to live. So I sit, grin, and bear it. I smile occasionaly, but I hate this.

I fear being alone. It's my deepest fear, being alone. I'll dream about it. and wake up in tears. I sometimes even just cry when the thought crosses my mind, being in tears for an hour. And no one notices. I need help, this is really getting to me. I'm crying more often then not, when people are just laughing, and such. I can't stand living like this anymore, quite frankly, I want to die...

Can anyone help me? I really want to change this.

Monday, March 24th, 2003

(YOU THINK YOU CAN SEE THROUGH MY MATERIALISM?

Posted by:wakeingzero.
Time:7:31 pm.
Have you ever loved someone so much it hurts? I have...

Nikki

Thursday, March 20th, 2003

(2 VISUALs | YOU THINK YOU CAN SEE THROUGH MY MATERIALISM?

Subject:love?
Posted by:commiefoofoo.
Time:12:28 am.
Mood: cranky.
no such thing in our day and age. it's all about convenience. it's never convenient for the greedy (those we fall in love with) to return that affection. we are always demanding too much of their precious time, or failing to compare with the previous spouse, or we don't have enough money or ambitions, or some bull shit that that makes us not worth their time. what is the point of such a pointless emotion, anyway? i'd rather devote my energies to school or music or somthing worth while and not so fickle. yeah, it's obvious that my heart was ripped out with a plastic spork, but... you know... fuck it! i'll get by just like i always do and in years to come... i'll be someone else as always. fuck it.

LiveJournal for Choice Words From A Hushed Heart.

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